my face is hollowed by months spent hovering in limbo.
first: three years I strove to pursue endeavors that would allow me to truss myself up like a prize animal at the fair.
next: six months I toiled away, writing and writing and rewriting
to make sure that not a single word was out of place.
(perfectly humble, perfectly proud, perfectly devoted to my studies and my community)
then: six more months in limbo.
(will they, won’t they?
is it not enough? why aren’t I enough?)
my sallow soul hoped the first time;
(nothing)
hoped the second time;
(still nothing)
then prayed and prayed and prayed.
(weakening every day)
finally: a decision.
(we are pleased to inform you…)
my dulled eyes lit up; the sorrow carved by my mouth turned upwards.
it was painful to wait, for sure.
(but god, I never smiled as much as I smiled that day)
~ ~ ~
May 19, 2021
Offered Admission to Engineering Science at the University of Toronto
